need another drink. this is the easiest way
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize