i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
MIDGETS
????
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
