We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
