I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
