I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
