so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
A bitchslap is in order.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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