you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
