i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
