so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
