party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
