You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
