My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
