Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
