I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
