so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Randomize
