Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
50% drunk capacity currently
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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