oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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