I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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