If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
