i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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