Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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