Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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