Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
