Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize