i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
