He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
