I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
