STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
