at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
