I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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