I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
