Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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