grandma shit on top of the toilet
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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