the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
