...so i touched it.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
