I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
