Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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