My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize