Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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