Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
