I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
