Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
