just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
