erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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