yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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