my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
