Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
