Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Too much gin, very little bucket
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
