I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
