Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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