He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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