So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
