i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
