He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
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