Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
