He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you would pick up someone in the library
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
