i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
