feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
