Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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