then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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