I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
