I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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